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Christopher D. Ochs

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Christopher D. Ochs

Tag Archives: Thanksgiving

Tanked-giving

29 Monday Nov 2021

Posted by Christopher D. Ochs in General

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depression, dogs, gratitude, November, Thanksgiving

I’m sorry to report that November has been one of the most depressing months I’ve ever experienced.
Normally, I’m an optimist, a class-clownish fellow, a weisenheimer punster, and one who takes time to smell the roses or stare in wonder at a sunrise or sunset.
But November did a number on me.

Pochi – b.2006, adopted 2016, d.2021

First off, I had to put down Pochi (Japanese slang for “pooch”), a poodle-mix rescue, and my furry companion for the past 5 1/2 years. On Halloween, of all days.
I’ve had seven dogs over the span of my life, and loved them all. With the earliest ones, my parents took care of the Sad Events, as I was still not yet an adult. Later, I raised two from newly-born pups, saying my tearful goodbyes to them when selling them to good homes at 6 months. Their mommy, a devilishly cute chocolate toy poodle, was my responsibility to put to sleep. However, I made the selfish mistake of not facing her time with her. The look on my pet’s face as the vet took her away made me vow I would never again let a dog go to the Rainbow Bridge alone. My previous rescue, Nix Nutz, passed away while frolicking in a boarding kennel, while I was working out-of-state. But my latest rescue, Pochi was the first and only dog, where I made the decision to end her suffering, and held her as life ebbed out of her old and decrepit body.

The experience has affected me more than I expected. Even as I write now, I still have to pause as grief overcomes me again. Not just because I miss Pochi terribly, or that I finally was grown-up enough to do the right thing, but because of the guilt over the possibility I strung out her suffering, missing earlier clues she wanted to leave. Is it strange that Pochi’s passing is depressing me far more than the day I was at my Mother’s bedside as she breathed her last? Or when I was not able to stand by my Father’s side when his time came?

Add to that the following: I have been on edge all month, and probably will be for another month, as my home is turned upside-down during the major remodeling of the basement. It is affecting me in the weirdest way. My house currently has the aspect of a terminal hoarder’s domicile, as the ground floor is crammed with furniture and paraphernalia displaced during demolition and remodeling. Such a state of living is disturbing enough for a person who normally has a place for every thing, and a thing for every place. But what is affecting my psyche worse is the fact that I have destroyed everything that my recently-departed Dad built and fashioned on that floor. Time, dry rot, ancient wiring, water and black mold have taken their toll, requiring the whole floor be gutted down the stone.

Another factor adding to my dejection, is that I spent most of the holiday alone. Usually, my circle of closest friends invite me on Thanksgiving day for an evening of food, friendship and festivity. But this was the year (thanks to the relaxing grip of Covid) when they all were with their respective extended families. And rightfully so. Mine are almost a thousand miles away, but I couldn’t leave the house during mid-construction. [Post-note: I was rescued by some good friends, who invited me over for “2nd Thanksgiving” later that weekend. Blessings on them!]

The rotten cherry on top is how all these burdens have shut off my writing. Hard. Because of the remodeling and contractors, writing time is minimal at best. And when I do have time to write, the words struggle mightily. On a good day I might get 100 words a day. At that rate, my next novel will be out in 2027. To make matters worse, this becomes a destructive feedback loop. When I can’t write, the Blues become deep, deep, Marianas-Trench deep Blue. As in black.

Despite all that — don’t worry for me, for I have my support networks. I have so much to be grateful for, I know eventually this dark cloud, too, shall pass.
But to express my summation of November in the vernacular…
Damn, this month royally sucked.

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09 Monday Nov 2015

Posted by Christopher D. Ochs in General

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Thanksgiving

It’s the month when we celebrate Christmas!

angry_turkey
Oh, sorry!  No, that’s what stores have wanted us to believe since the week before Halloween.

This is the month when traditionally we reflect on the blessings and good things that have come our way.  Who am I to buck tradition?  Besides, countless studies — along with just plain sage wisdom and basic common sense — tells us that if you concentrate on the good, you’ll tend to be happier and just a more pleasant person all around.
I certainly have observed the opposite, which only proves the point. Haven’t you ever noticed that you tend to gravitate away from people who constantly bitch?  I know I sure do!  Those people who revel in righteous indignation about every social ill in the world, from their neighbor’s dog to the latest political boondoggle (that the other party is obviously responsible for), are simply the type of person that I prefer to keep at 10-foot-pole (or greater) length.

As for me, a few of the things I’m thankful for:cancer_free_ninjaI’m cancer-free:
While going through that gauntlet was no picnic, I am now what society calls a ‘survivor.’  Though it is essentially correct, I still don’t feel quite comfortable with that epithet.  However, I think the whole year-long ordeal has instilled in me a perspective that tends to focus me on the good in what time left I have in this mortal coil.

happy_computer

My long history of working in fields that I love:
Bell Labs was a hoot!  Drop me into an environment where daily tasks exercise my physics, math, computer and engineering muscles?  Like a pig in swill!
Now that I’m pursuing a vocation in writing, despite the fact I am not successful by society’s measure?  Just as happy!  Don’t get me wrong — there is drudgery in both fields.  But when you love what you do, it just doesn’t matter. And the high points are incredible.  I cannot be thankful enough for that.

figure_network

Family & Friends:
I have seen some dysfunctional families that would put soap operas to shame.  I am ever so thankful that my family has none of those less-than-endearing scream-at-the-top-of-your-lungs qualities.  And as for friends, I have a circle of friends that I have kept close for almost four decades.  And these are the friends that I can depend upon in life-or-death situations — because we’ve already gone through it.
In my salad days, I was enamored of the saying attributed to Tom Waits:
 Champagne for my real friends,
 Real pain for my sham friends.
But I think I prefer this one over it now:
 Friends help you.
 Good friends help you move.
 True friends help you move bodies.

1st_day_2small

My furry companions:
Those of you who know me, are familiar with NixNutz*, a dog I had adopted from a local shelter. Cute as a button, he only had three legs, due to a nasty run-in with a pack of street dogs when he was abandoned in Bethlehem. Though we know it is simply the nature of animals not to complain, since they have no conception of self-pity, NixNutz’s example of “deal with it and get on with life” was nevertheless a daily inspiration for me. He left us last July, and I still miss him terribly. Not to worry — a new rescue is in the works!

Believe me, I could go on and on about my faith and the miracles — daily ones, simple ones, and even a few grandiose ones — that I’ve experienced. But I have to get back to the work that I love!

* NixNutz – a Pennsylvania Dutch term, literally translated as ‘of no use’, it is a term of endearment used by parents when their children misbehave.  A word my Dad often used for me!

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